Christmas Eve

The anticipation is building.  It's Christmas Eve and Eric gets the day off work.  Tonight we'll go over to Tim and Angie's home for their traditional fondue night.  They've invited neighbors and Tim's family is in town, so this is the largest Fondue Night they've pulled off- it should be amazingly fun!!!  Multiple pots and flavors!

Tomorrow, I'm hosting Christmas dinner for 16 and am not stressed about it one ounce!  We've delegated, and I don't even know as I'll clean much around here.  I'll clean the bathrooms.  But the house is tidy.  So, mostly I'm going to focus on my family and that feels wonderful!  The Lord has blessed us richly this year with a fullness of family and friends and neighbors.  One of the families coming to Christmas dinner, we've only met once- and that makes me so happy.  God's provided the love that can go around- the food that can be enjoyed by all- the warmth and the shelter that can be shared... so, by golly!, we're sharing!  And with understanding of the miraculous gift of Jesus, we will enjoy the day with a happy buzz.

My dear friend Mary wrote a smashing poem about a full house on Christmas.  I love it and hope you do, too.  Enjoy.

The No Make-Up club

Saturday morning, I set my alarm for 5:50am and was out the door at 6:20am to go for breakfast at Cracker Barrel with a bunch of people I'd never met before.  The group is comprised of a bunch of adoptive and hoping-to-be adoptive moms in our area who simply want to reach out, support each other and pray for one another.  They met last month and when I heard about it, I said "Next time, I'm there!".  So, the plan is to meet once a month, and the early time is just so that we don't have many excuses (soccer games, family plans...).  The only rule is that no one gets gussied up... no make-up.  So in my sloppy clothes, slightly red face from my recent re-starting of Retin-A (finally meeting deductible with Lael's surgery= dermatologist visit), and no make-up, I had a blast!

Leslie and I had talked on the phone, but it was so good to meet her in person.  I also met Jo, and Heather.  There were 11 or 12 of us so I didn't catch everyone or know all of their blogs (who *doesn't* blog in the adoption community?!)  Most had adopted from China, but there were some other journeys represented, as well.  We discussed prayer requests and our children and adoption.  I listened, and spoke and was uplifted.  I saw strong women who have been through multiple surgeries with their special needs kids, women who had to bury children, and women, like me, who are feeling the ache for the child they do not yet know and are weary of the wait, yet full of faith for the perfection of God's plan.

As Eric and I are about to hit the 20 month mark (on Christmas day!), I feel less optimistic and a bit more discouraged now that we are on our 3rd Christmas with the passion for this child in our hearts yet no tangible evidence of her.  You have all said that I've remained positive, that I've maintained perspective, and kept the faith.  I feel a bit like a fake, because I have been in tears a lot lately over this seemingly endless "pregnancy".  Our agency re-updated our estimated wait once again ("maybe a referral 5 months from now").  Well, that actually happened a few weeks ago, but is it really worth mentioning?!  They may extend it again and after at least 4 updated timelines, I just don't put much weight in them.  I think they are making the best guesses they know how, but things in Taiwan are just not as predictable as they once were.

So, all of that to say, it was a gift to be able to interact with mothers who get it.  I have cherished the support and encouragement and shared excitement that our friends and family have built around us these 2 1/2 years since being called to adopt- so please don't take offense.  But, it just felt so good to state the facts and not have to *explain* a thing; the women at that table were in the same spot as me or had been there recently and survived!

I will certainly do everything I can to show up at Cracker Barrel next month, with no make-up, at 6:30am!  Thank you, ladies, for welcoming me in so nicely.  Oh, and thank you to the anonymous person at Cracker Barrel who PAID FOR OUR BREAKFAST.  No joke- the whole tab!  What a lovely treat.

In other adoption news:

-bookmark Sarah and Kevin's blog and keep an eye on it these next two weeks- they are IN TAIWAN and will be getting Hannah Claire before year's end!

-go here and leave an encouraging comments for Steven and Mary Beth Chapman.  Today is 7 months since the death of Maria Sue and the Christmas season is yet another hurdle to clear in the process of grief and healing.

After

Lael had her surgery on Monday and has been a fabulous little trouper!  The 'Day Of' was tough on us, and on her, but you'd hardly know she had surgery right now.  She took one dose of pain medicine that day because we wanted it to get her through the first night.  But, when she awoke Tuesday (and ever since) she has had no complaints and has not taken another dosing.  Hooray!

She has been wrapped in a soft cast to prevent thumb sucking and to protect it.  That will come off on Dec. 31st at which point I think it may bother her a bit more- the wound will still be healing and the scar will be tender.  In the cast, she has no movement, and I wonder if bending it will cause discomfort.  But, for now, she is doing amazingly!

We did have one challenge- clothes!  Leaving the hospital, Eric went to put her long sleeved shirt back on, and it wouldn't fit!  Neither would her coat.  I ran to the Goodwill and bought a few warm things that I don't mind cutting the arm on.  That cute coat in the picture won't be worn after the cast comes off since I hacked off the left sleeve.  But, I think the ability to allow Lael outside in winter for these two weeks will have been well worth the $7.99.

Saying that, though, is a laugh.  Today, we're having a warm spell and no coats are necessary.  We went from snow last Friday to 65F today!

I knew it was too quiet!!!

Armed with a full sheet of temporary tattoos from a birthday party, this is how Grant emerged from the bathroom the other day!  I really struggled with it, but allowed him to keep them on for one full day.  But yesterday we had to go out in public and I insisted they be removed.  The funny thing was that I overlooked the one on his neck.  So, off we went to a doctor's appointment with a SCORPION on Grant's neck.  I had to laugh!  My eight year old son with a job stopper!

The bump

The "Before":

Lael is having surgery on Monday.  We've known about this for a few weeks now, but as it creeps closer it just makes me sad.  This bony growth (exostosis) is not stopping, and has begun to overtake her thumb.  While not life threatening, I know she'll want it off (it is tender sometimes, but mostly its just ugly).  So, with our high deductible nearly met for the year, and her young resilient age, we felt this was the proper time.  Please keep her in your prayers- and Mom and Dad, too!

With the deductible met, at least until January 1st, we are now running around having a few appointments.  So, I'm fitting in a few physical therapy and chiropractor appointments for my back, a dermatology appointment, and a check up or two.  And they won't cost us a dime!  Wooo Hoo!  This has been a super expensive medical year for us (though I know it could be worse and we are totally counting our blessings!) and I pray that 2009 holds less drama.

"Number One First Date"

From time to time, Eric and I like to have a one-on-one outing with the kids.  I wish I could say it was more often, but weeks slip quickly into months around here.  And while Dean and I have had outings together (grabbing an ice cream or heading to the park), this weekend was our first official date.  The kind of date where he has a secret exchange of funds with Dad, tells me where to drive, and we go out for dinner (where he pays!) and he opens the door and we talk without interruption.

Sweet Dean has been wanting to do this with me for a few weeks now, and asked about it nearly every day.  But the timing had to be just right- Daddy had to be available to watch the other kids, and we couldn't have any other plans, and it couldn't be a school night.  Sooooo Saturday it was!

Eric slipped him $30 and we went on our way.  For about 5 minutes in the car, I lost Dean to multiple questions about money.  "How much will dinner cost?"  "How much if we go to Maggie Moos after?"  "Do they give me the extra money back?"  "What dollars do they make?"  (then there was fascination over why they don't make a $3 bill).  I remember this similar obsession over the money when Grant and I went on our first date around the same age... a slight worry that there won't be enough money to cover it all.

Baja Fresh was Dean's request.  We had just been there the night before as a family so it was fresh on his mind as having good food.  And, he was worried about going to Jason's Deli (apparently his other first choice) because they have an ice cream bar and he didn't want the ice cream bar to replace the, obviously, important Maggie Moos!

In talking with my little guy alone, I realized how important these dates with him will be.  As a middle child, he isn't used to getting to talk for so long without someone speaking over him or suggesting a different opinion (in hopes of swaying his!).  So, I found that he was quiet at times when I would expect Grant or Lael to be chatter boxes.  He will probably have an easier time than others at being quick to listen and slow to speak.

You'll see that we did indeed have enough money after dinner to hit Maggie Moos.  (I even took video at Maggie Moos with my purse camera and Dean was so careful in asking if I could name the video "Number One First Date"- really sweet and I'm sad it wouldn't upload easily.  Drat. Probably too much cuteness for the internet, anyway.  :-))

Are days off really worth it?

We just enjoyed a full week off from school.  Actually, if you count the two sick days from the previous week, we nearly have had a week and a half!  So, that's great, right?  We lounged, spent a lot of family time together, watched TV, stayed up late and slept in.  I didn't go to the gym once.

While I feel rested and ready to jump back in to the homeschooling routine, it is sooooo difficult.  It takes so very little time for children to lose their rhythm and focus.  We had a great schedule going and now I feel like we're back at square one!  Today, they have argued, tried to get away with less than their best on their work, and taken *forever* to do simple tasks.  

It is 4:30pm, and we aren't done with school.  The freezing weather and the early darkness mean that we aren't playing outside today either.  Tomorrow will be a bit better, but I am afraid that the same thing is about to repeat itself because of Christmas in just a few short weeks.  And, there is no magic answer- just diligence, consistency, and follow-through.  Good results take hard work.