Row Toward Shore

EDITED 5:35pm: I had their old website/blogger page.  The link is fixed now, I'm sure you'll appreciate the cleaner format... check it out.

I have re-connected with a high school friend, Kate, via Facebook.  She and her husband adopted from Russia recently and have a company called Row Toward Shore.  Their aim is to sell their artwork to raise money for their own future adoption(s), but also to help others adopting.  If you register with them, they will donate a percentage of sales to your adoption fund when a customer gives a certain code.

For, us, if you mention "FADELY" when checking out, they will donate to our adoption fund.  Kate and her husband are extremely talented artists and have a wide price range available in their product line.  Please support them, and us- have a look!  If you are also adopting, you might consider setting up your own referral account with them.

Additionally, they are also taking a portion of profits and sending it to Our Creator's Hope.  OCH has an adoption grant program that makes adoption more affordable to those who see finances as a barrier to bringing an orphan home.

Look at the photo Judy sent me yesterday....

sweet little William taking part in Operation BDHQ

He went before us!

Deuteronomy 31:8

8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

While that verse pertains to the Israelites, God's character stays the same.  And when He promises you something, you can be sure that He will make a way and guide you through!

I am just now getting a chance to write about what's happened the last few days.    Your encouraging words, and faithful prayers meant so much in my despair.  But, I won't leave you in suspense any longer- the Lord went before us and worked everything out.  Now for the lovely details, because it makes me so happy to reflect back on how gracious God was to me, even in my despair and pain:

The idea of another 2-3 weeks before our agency would get our paperwork was unbearable to me.  Yes, in the grand scheme of life, 2-3 weeks isn't much.  BUT, I also know that there is a domino effect, especially in international adoption.  A few days can make a difference when it comes to a country's holiday season, an orphanage awaiting their renewed license, or a coordinator being on vacation.  In my human mind, I was having a hard time coming to terms with it all because we've been working so hard.

Like I said, though, counter service on the apostilles was key.  Here in Tennessee, I was going to do that and my brother was going to do that for us in California.  If we sent off documents to Pennsylvania, even with overnight envelopes, it was estimated to take 10-15 business days.  Eric has extended family in Pennsylvania, but we just couldn't ask his grandparents on either side to do this for us. The big city, traffic, and possible bureaucratic hurdles is simply too much at their age, and we knew that.

Eric and I agreed that the only way to get things done quickly was to do them ourselves.  To mail things off and wait the 10-15 days was, we felt, irresponsible with our little girl waiting on us.  What is a 12-13 hour drive when your daughter is at the end of all this mess?!  So, as I gathered things for Colin and FedExed them so he could take care of the CA side of our paperwork, Eric wrapped things up at work with the intent of being gone Thursday and Friday.  We were going to pack, leave in the morning Thursday, and have the birth certificate apostilled at the Pennsylvania Secretary of State on Friday.  That left a bit of visiting with family and a return trip to Nashville on Saturday or Sunday.  Well, we got to talking about the expense of it all- eating out, staying in a hotel, gas, missed work and so on.  Eric figured it might actually be *cheaper* to fly there and rent a car for himself. So, he started browsing Expedia and Travelocity and the like and came up with a pretty good deal.

In the middle of that, Judy contacts me via e-mail and says that she's read the blog and could drive to Harrisburg for us.  Judy and I have never met in person, ever.  We've known one another the past two years through adoption forums and e-mails since we were both with the same Taiwan agency and logged in around the same time.  Last year, she travelled and brought home her gorgeous son William.  She knows the pain of paperwork, she knows the ache of waiting for your child, and she very clearly understands what we have at stake.  What I also know about Judy is that she is detail-oriented, trustworthy, and a sister in Christ.  So, I wanted to shout "yes!", "praise God, yes!", but didn't because there were things to work out.

Primarily, I hadn't heard back from the state of PA yet.  CA had a live human answer their phone (amazing considering their budget issues right now, huh?) and I was able to confirm that someone could get counter service on our behalf, and that the certificates we had were signed by the right person, and were new enough etc. to be apostilled without glitch.  So, I'd left a voicemail with the secretary of state's office in PA, but hadn't received a reply.  This made us a bit nervous.  "What if they turned Judy away?"  "What if she went through all that and then we *still* had to drive out there?" But, the other reason I hesitated, was that I knew she wasn't in Harrisburg, and that she would have a lot to do with baby William in tow.  Seriously, that is a LOT to do for someone you don't know!  So, I outlined all that would be necessary to really, really drive home the inconvenience and give her a chance to back out.

All the while, Eric kept looking for flights.  About an hour passed, and I think we figured that Judy gave it a second thought and realized that she'd made a mistake.  We found a good deal on a flight/car combo that would save us money compared to the whole family driving out.  We were on the "purchase" screen and I just felt like we should wait and make sure he could say with family overnight.  Eric called his granny and, upon hearing her disappointment over the kids not coming too, he second guessed himself.  "Maybe we should drive".  That time was just long enough for Judy to respond with a definite "yes".  So we were not more than 5 minutes away from clicking "purchase" on a plane ticket!  Truly an answer to prayer!

The next morning I compiled Eric's birth certificate, checks, a checklist, and directions and FedEx'ed it to Judy.

When we realized it would all work out, Eric and I finished up assembling everything for our dossier.  God also provided dear friends who were willing to have us come to their house late in the evening Thursday to notarize the huge heap of documents.  Jason, Thank you!!!!

Friday, Eric took the day off work and Tim and Angie watched the kids so we could run around and finish up with getting county clerk certifications, and then head on to the Secretary of State office for Tennessee.  We worked from 10am until about 4pm, and got it all done with 30 minutes to spare (the government office buildings close at 4:30pm).  A little celebratory cupcake at Ivey Cake and we came home to collapse.

In the middle of all that somewhere, Colin e-mailed us to let me know that he was successful with our documents and that they were already back in the mail to our agency!  My brother ROCKS!!!

The following morning, we double and triple checked everything (maybe quadruple), and took all 46 documents to Eric's office to use the super scanner.  How cool is it that we were able to speedily scan everything and have it e-mailed to him automatically?!  (technology has changed a LOT since my last office job!)  Love that!  The next stop was FedEx again.  The guy remembered me from the other day and we were able to tell him that this was the most important box he'd see all day and that his company better not lose it!  Seriously.  I feel relief that it is out of our hands. 

IFS will get the envelope from CA on Monday, the envelope from PA on Tuesday, and our 4.15 lb. box of documents on Tuesday.  Whew.  God has orchestrated this in a miraculous way!  Operation BDHQ is underway!!  :-)

Please pray blessings and grace and stamina for Judy who will be helping us tomorrow.  She will be driving a lot, and will have William with her.  Pray that he is a perfect angel and sleeps in the car and isn't fussy.  Pray that no one gives her trouble at the Secretary of State counter, and that she has no lines to wait in.  I am so grateful to her family for this, and feel like I'll be adding her name to the long list of people I must thank at the end of our adoption.  I'm planning an Academy-like speech and will ignore any and all time limits!  :-)

So, there you have it!  While I was crying and panicking, the Lord was planning and going before us to smooth the path to Dorothy.  He knew the hurdles ahead, and gave us the support to make it over them.

Now, for practical details that will hopefully save other adoptive parents from work/stress:

- ask up front if ALL of your documents will need apostille or authentication

- find out if your state will only apostille or authenticate documents with State Registrar, County Clerk, or Secretary of State signatures.  If so, you must go to the county that the notary is commissioned and obtain their certification at the county level first.

- It is really super helpful to have all your documents notarized by notaries from the same county.  We overlooked this part, and had to drive to 3 counties: Williamson, Davidson, and Rutherford.  Let me just express my gratitude that TN counties are tiny and the drive was doable.  Still a hassle, but doable.

- If you have any control over it, choose a notary from a county where the county clerk seal/certification is cheaper.  It was $7 per document in Rutherford county, but only $3 per document in Davidson county (williamson was $5).  I was very happy that most of our documents were from Davidson county notaries.

-There was little to no wait for all these papers (it's just not a popular service like car tags or something) so counter service is absolutely worth the time saved even if you have to drive a long distance to get there.

- And, lastly, this isn't really a tip (since you don't have any control over your state), but just something I'm glad for... TN only charges $2 per document to apostille!  California charges $20 per document + $6 counter service fee (so our marriage cert. and my birth cert. cost $46).  PA charges $15 per document.  So, for the 44 documents we needed to have apostilled in TN, it was only $88.  Had we been in CA, that would have been $880!!!  Yikes!  Between county seals, and state seals- our dossier is worth well over $300 and over 1 1/2 months of hard work.

First care package

Today, I mailed off our very first package to our daughter!!!!  

By the way, her name is going to be Dorothy.  We've known that for a long time, even before we ever had a face to attach to the picture.  I was going to wait until things were more secure, more real, more... whatever!  Her name is Dorothy!  More on her name in another post.

So, another family with the same agency is traveling to get their daughter in a few weeks from the same orphanage.  They have been kind enough to take our gifts to Dorothy when they go.  The real blessing is that they should also be able to take more pictures of her, hopefully video, and be able to hold her and tell her that Mommy and Daddy can't wait to meet her.  We look forward to getting a bit more information about what she is like- what her disposition is or something less matter-of-fact than the official reports are.  Does she walk yet?  Does she take toys from the other kids?  Does she babble?  Does she smile easily?  Who are her buddies?  Does she have a favorite nanny?  Anything, really.  Anything is a bonus.

So, soon she will have a little oft toy that we washed and carried around for a week hoping it would smell like us.  The theory, if you don't know, is that we will seem familiar when she smells us and it will make attaching to us less scary.  We also included a baby photo book with all of our pictures and labels of who each person is ("sister", "Daddy", "brother"...).  The photos are nicely protected from drool, and the handle doubles as a chew toy.  There's also a disposable camera (we're hoping the orphanage staff takes pictures for us, then returns the camera when we travel), and treats to share with the other kids (some adorable candy bracelets, and chocolates for the nannies). 

Another family travels shortly after that, so I'll be sending something else to them in the next week, too.  I'm so thrilled that Dorothy will have something from us two times in the course of a month!  Something we touched!  Something from our home!  I want that to make her feel closer.  Right now it doesn't, but maybe when I get word that she has it all in her sweet tiny hands?  Maybe.

On that note, we now have a family code: BDHQ.  It stands for "Bring Dorothy Home Quick" and we say it amongst ourselves to remind each other to pray that the Lord supernaturally smoothes and speeds this process.  I'd love it if you would add "BDHQ" to your prayers, as well! 

Referral!!!!

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."

Hebrews 10:23

We are excited to announce that we know who our daughter will be!

In an amazing twist in this adoption journey- while still waiting for a referral through the Taiwan program- we were given the file of a little girl waiting for a family in INDIA and said "yes" yesterday!

She is about 14 months old now (born in November 2007).  She had a rocky start in life, was likely born prematurely, and also has beta thalassemia minor.  Both things combined led to her going through blood transfusions in her first months of life and also were probably the reason for her being passed over by adoptive families in her home country.  We thank God for even those details, because, as a result, she found her way to us!

God has been by our side during this entire time (all two and a half years!), even on the low days when we questioned if this would ever happen.  Looking back, we are able to praise Him for knowing the details and guiding us to our daughter.  Please join us in prayer that she will be able to come home soon.  The average times for the court process are 5-10 months.  We are specifically praying for travel to India this summer, that she would spend less time in institutional care.  When it is time to travel, we should be in-country for roughly a week.  We ask that you keep her and us in your thoughts and prayers as we wait the second half of this wait!

More details to follow of course.  I will not be posting pictures here on the blog unless the adoption agency gives clearance to this.  Most request that this not be done until she is more officially "ours" to uphold the integrity of the relationship with the referring country, and maintain child privacy.  She is gorgeous, and I will happily share with those who request privately.

Christmas Eve

The anticipation is building.  It's Christmas Eve and Eric gets the day off work.  Tonight we'll go over to Tim and Angie's home for their traditional fondue night.  They've invited neighbors and Tim's family is in town, so this is the largest Fondue Night they've pulled off- it should be amazingly fun!!!  Multiple pots and flavors!

Tomorrow, I'm hosting Christmas dinner for 16 and am not stressed about it one ounce!  We've delegated, and I don't even know as I'll clean much around here.  I'll clean the bathrooms.  But the house is tidy.  So, mostly I'm going to focus on my family and that feels wonderful!  The Lord has blessed us richly this year with a fullness of family and friends and neighbors.  One of the families coming to Christmas dinner, we've only met once- and that makes me so happy.  God's provided the love that can go around- the food that can be enjoyed by all- the warmth and the shelter that can be shared... so, by golly!, we're sharing!  And with understanding of the miraculous gift of Jesus, we will enjoy the day with a happy buzz.

My dear friend Mary wrote a smashing poem about a full house on Christmas.  I love it and hope you do, too.  Enjoy.

Seventeen Months!

Our family has been on our agency's wait list for SEVENTEEN MONTHS today.

For those of you expecting to see a referral announced on this blog soon, I really don't think so.  Last night, we got an e-mail from our agency informing us that they haven't had a girl referral since May (sweet Hannah Claire, most likely) and that we can add 3-4 months to our timeline estimate.  So, we are looking at a referral between December '08 and April '09.

That is, unless, things slow down further, changing our timeline estimate again.

I'm struggling.  Maybe this is God shaking me up, saying, "don't trust in man, trust in Me."  Maybe our idea of perfect: perfect timing, perfect spacing between siblings, perfect whatever ...isn't His idea of perfect.  I know that there are countless examples of God's promises taking longer than hoped to play out.  

We feel that this child is a promise of God.  Further, we feel that God purposed us to care for one of His children- a child that needs a mother and a father and a home.  I guess it's just not supposed to happen right now.

Can you believe that it might be 2010 before we travel to Taiwan?!

I have more to say, and I certainly feel more right now than I can write, but I think I'll just go enjoy my kids, breathe in the fall air, and carve out some good meditation time today.  The crying isn't doing anyone any good.

50% to Morninglight Sale!!!

I know that the talent God gave me is not only for my gain.  In the past year alone, I have been able to donate pieces of my work to three charity fundraisers: two art shows, and one silent auction.  

Most recently, I have felt urged to donate a percentage of my profit to Morninglight Ministries.  As we are adopting from Taiwan, the need there and the people of that country have burrowed in my heart.  An amazing family, the Pan family, is paving the way for incredible work to be done in the lives of children and women.  I've spoken of it before.  Right now, even before a formal home has been built, the Pans have taken in two pregnant women who need a place to feel secure before and after they give birth.  $500 is the cost for medical care, counseling, and housing for each woman and I wish to see that covered for them.

So, until the end of October, any custom Hidden Name paintings I am commissioned to do, I will donate 50% of the profit toward Morninglight.

Cost: $220 ($110 goes directly to Morninglight)

What you get:

-consultation time with me via phone or e-mail regarding artwork

-custom 10x14 watercolor painting with your selected name hidden in the scene

-a color key to make finding the letters easier

-a bonus blank greeting card of my design as a thank you for taking part in this special fundraiser!

Q&A:

Q: Does it have to be my name?

A: No, silly.  This is great for children- and that is all I've done so far.  But, I'd also love to hide a family name, or a favorite word (for instance, "family", or "peace", or "hope" would be great).

Q: I don't really know what I want, but I like the concept; can you help me?

A: Absolutely!  I actually work best with few constraints and I believe that my clients have enjoyed the surprise.  Seeing the hidden letters is the best part.  But, I often hear that the second best part is seeing how I took their favorite things and ran with them.  Favorite colors, important places, cherished animals, or hobbies translate into completely original scenes.

Q: How long until I get my painting?

A: Once I've had a phone or e-mail consultation with you, I aim for 3 weeks working time before shipping your piece to you.

Q: Is there any way I can get something smaller, or bigger?

A: Sure, contact me and we can talk about it.

Q: I'm a bit nervous about purchasing without seeing the finished product.  How can I be sure I will like it?

A: As we work through your consultation, I will not begin painting until you're confident with the vision I describe.  That portion of the process is a collaboration and influences the final artwork as little or as much as you desire.  For the more visual types, I would be happy to work up a rough sketch, scan it, and e-mail for an additional fee.  We'll work together until you're happy.

Q: Can I see some samples?

A: But of course:

This is one of my most recent ones, done for Grant.  Not my Grant,  Rebecca's Grant, and the waiting brother of Owen from China.  I also had the pleasure of doing one for Owen himself (not pictured).

this one was for Ivan

for Jackson

for Violet

16 Months!

Today is sixteen months on The Wait List, waiting for the referral of our daughter.

The kids and I talked about it over breakfast after doing our Bible study.  Grant said he misses her.  He misses the sister he doesn't even know yet!  I feel a bit the same at times.  She's been a part of our hearts for over two years now (we knew we were going to adopt back in June 2006), and two years for our children is a LOOOOOONG time to hope for, pray for, and wonder about who will join your family and when.

Tired of waiting, but feeling hopeful and trusting in the Lord.

Back to School!

Last week, I started our homeschool with Grant and Dean.

I can not really put into words how sweet, and gracious the Lord was to us.  He showed me a glimpse of the good things to come this year: greater patience in me, a team spirit in our children, selflessness, desire for spiritual knowledge in my kids, less "attitude", and more quality time together.  I was prepared for the first week to be hectic, and less than encouraging.  I had geared myself up to discount the first set of days, press on, and wait a month before making any judgements.

But, I am just tickled that we were rewarded with such amazing moments, and a week full of days to cherish- right off the bat!  I hate saying it, but I was surprised.  Why should I be so surprised with God's faithfulness?!  I mean, He urged us to go down this path- challenging me to lay down my imperfections and reservations and GO FOR IT!  Maybe I was just surprised with how quickly it all seemed "right".  

Now, I do know that there will be homeschool days that are a struggle.  But, by starting off on such a good note, I am encouraged.  God knew I needed that, I'm certain.

The boys are learning so much already.  And not just "knowledge", but "wisdom" and issues of the heart.  Lael is absorbing right along with them, and listening to much of what I tell her big brothers.  Though only 3, she memorized our week's Bible verse with the same precision as the older kids!

Last night as I quickly gathered the books for today's school and briefly looked over my teacher's guide, I was excited.  Excited!  This is going to be a lot of hard work, but I can already tell that the reward will trump any and all of the work- and that is exciting.

I'll leave you with some "First Day of School" pictures- an annual tradition.

a happy message on the white board

my kindergartner!

can you believe I have a kid this big?!

awww... my three handsome men (in height order, no less!)

Reminder

For anyone who has intentions of helping Morning Light Home by participating in my bloggy drawing, I will be drawing names on Friday; get your donation in before then.  The goal is $200 and the prize is a leather bound journal/devotional written by Billy Graham's daughter, Annie.  Check the sidebar to see progress (currently 16%) and to participate using ChipIn.  Thanks!

Morning Light is currently placing children with adoptive families on a smaller scale until there is a facility.  This week, one of the families brought together through their ministry is able to celebrate the final ruling of their adoption.  Go congratulate Starr and her family on the adoption of Asia-Faith.  They live in Taiwan right now and this news has been a long time in coming!

Morning Light Ministries Bloggy Drawing

Our adoption journey has gone from being about one little orphan, and our family, to a desire to have a greater impact on orphans as a whole, and to impact the people of Taiwan.  My eyes have been opened to things and the only appropriate response is action.

This year, I became aware of Morninglight Ministries.  The Pan family started pastoring Taitung Baptist church in 2001 and now find themselves in a position where God is using them in amazing ways regarding unwed mothers and adoption- Morninglight Ministries.  The Asian culture in Taiwan is, by and large, very unforgiving to those who become pregnant outside of marriage.  Because of this, most of these children are aborted or given up for adoption.  From what I gather, the county that Morninglight is in has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy and very few (any?) group homes or foster care options.  The reality of the situation is that these women feel that there is no other choice but to seek out an abortion, or they risk being shunned by their family and having shame heaped upon them and their child.  The Pan family has begun reaching out to these women with the love of Christ and have helped to match adoptive families to these children when the birth family desires.  But, they lack the resources to meet the need.  Bit by bit, a way is being made for them to have a home for the unwed mothers and a nursery for the children awaiting placement for adoption.  

In the words of a Morninglight volunteer, Sarah:  "The Unwed mother's home will be used to not only give the women another choice (there are not enough homes in TAIWAN much rather their county), but they will also be given the opportunity to learn how to be a mom if they wish to continue forward and parent, they will be given the opportunity to support themself and their child by taking the classes offered for Bible, life resource, baby care.. etc and turn those hours into "chips" or vouchers to by their basic needs for them and baby and get proper medical care. With their being 400,000 abortions a year in Taiwan, due greatly to the astigmatism and lack of "placement help" in the way of orphanages and homes, they feel pressured to abort. Deana [Pan] is taking courses right now in "counseling", psych, and others in order to grow this dream into a reality."

Just this week, enough money was raised for them to purchase and install an air conditioning unit!  Praise God!  More essentials need to be purchased and more help is needed.

Soooo....

I now have a ChipIn button in my sidebar.  I'll take donations for Morninglight and draw a name from the contributors for a prize.  This raffle ends Aug. 1st and the winner will get a leather-bound copy of Anne Graham Lotz's "Daily Light Journal- Morning Readings".  I figured it was appropriate for *Morning* *Light*.  Get it?  :-)  The goal for this bloggy drawing is to raise enough money for one crib, roughly $200.  We can make a difference!

Looking up

Thank you, everyone!  God has used so many people these past few days to turn around my attitude.  Praise the LORD!  His goodness is just so good!

What's incredibly amazing is that I got all these messages on the adoption forums, and here on the blog, and through e-mail- encouraging words, empathy, messages of hope- and I NEEDED THEM!  I needed them so much, and Jesus knew that, because I really didn't think my blog post sounded all that desperate or hopeless.  So, I had to wonder if I sounded all that depressed, or if everyone is just really great at reading between the lines!

Whatever the case (and I think it has more to do with God's knowledge of my heart), I'll be honest and say that Thursday and Friday I hurt a lot and found myself getting teary, discouraged and losing hope.  That's human.  That's my flesh.

As Christians, we talk a lot about how "the flesh" wants certain things that we shouldn't pursue.  It is oftentimes portrayed as this hindrance to godliness.  But God made me.  He made my flesh.  The more I worship Him and praise Him, the more my flesh will resemble the life that God wants.  That's the fruit of the spirit!  You can't just aim for having the fruit of the spirit, or to have hope- you keep your eyes on the Maker of Hope and the Giver of Peace and the rest is a result.

I was reading today and became so encouraged that my flesh can REST IN HOPE.  The same flesh that got impatient 3 days ago and lost hope, can REST IN HOPE.  How?  Psalm 16:8&9  says, "I have set the Lord before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.  Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will rest in hope."  If I set the Lord before me... my heart will be glad, and my flesh will rest in hope!  Again with the whole "keeping my eyes on the Maker of Hope" things.

I also began believing the lies that satan wants me to buy into.  That this would never happen- we'd never adopt... that time would just tick, and tick, and tick, and we'd forever feel the void of not having our little girl with us.  WELL, that's not what God called us to.  He didn't urge us to adopt, bring our hearts in unison, and show us this path only to smash our hopes against a rock!

So, against the lies, and against my flesh, I am keeping my eyes on God's loving plan for us to give a new life to an orphan, who will cease to be an orphan and will simply be our daughter.  Refocusing.

In church on Sunday, we sang this song and I loved the main part of the song (chorus?  I don't know- I'm not a music person):

I will worship you for who you are

I will worship you for who you are

I will worship you for who you are

Jesus

Not for what He does, what I get, or how fast I get it- just because of who He is.

Also helpful: Isaiah 55:8-9

And, another reason things are looking up is that Lucy is FINALLY entering the courts.  Please say a prayer for them, that this whole thing will go quickly from this point forward... her family is waiting for her (and has been waiting longer than any other Taiwan adoptive family I have heard of!)!  AND,  Kevin and Sarah , my waiting buddies, have approval for Hannah Claire so we all finally get to see pictures of the little beauty!  Congratulations to both families on the progress toward their daughters!

If when a door closes, a window opens....

what happens when a window closes?

We made it to the 14-17 month window where we might expect a referral.  But, as I suspected, changes are taking place and our "window" has changed.

I spoke with our agency today and they are now estimating our referral may come between September 2008 and January 2009.

The biggest reason seems to be that rules have unofficially changed with one of the orphanages our agency works with in placing children.  We were previously eligible for the program with St. Lucy Center, and the program with Chung Yi.  Now, we are only eligible for St. Lucy Center.  Additionally, there were very few referrals at the start of the year from either orphanage causing a backlog of sorts.

Because the changes are unofficial (and Chung Yi told our agency that they would not be issuing an official statement), I thought I might help you other adoptive parents and report what I've discovered:

-Chung Yi prefers both adoptive parents be over 30 (I am 29)

-Chung Yi prefers that the adoptive parents have 0-1 child at home (we have 3)

My guess is that with the growth in applicants to the Taiwan program, Chung Yi now has more families to choose from and are simply only selecting those that match the cultural preferences in Taiwan.  It tends to be a cultural preference in Asia to desire small families or only one child.  It can be said, similarly, that Americans culturally prefer 2 children- a boy and a girl.  This won't be the case for everyone in Taiwan, and it isn't the case for everyone in America- it just is a "cultural preference".

Where does that leave me?  Hurting and sad.  And thankful that my sweet husband brought home a lovely selection from Schakolad the other day.  There might not be any chocolate left by evening's end!

"My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever"

Pslam 73:26

Big all around

I don't suppose anyone has noticed that I haven't been posting many blogs lately... but I haven't.  There's a lot going on, and a lot to say- but it seems that I can't do it justice so I don't try.  God is so gracious, and loving, and lavishing.  I'm just enjoying what He's sending our way- new friends, new revelations, answers to prayer, new journeys, new challenges, new ways of thinking, and a fresh new expectancy for what is to come.

After hoping and praying for such a thing for YEARS, we have family en route right now to live in our town (2 days of driving from Texas with a moving truck and a UHaul-pulling SUV- pray for them!)!  Eric's older sister and her family will be here tomorrow settling into their new life and we are so thrilled to be part of each other's lives.

I feel full with a sense of community.

Our pastor has been speaking about stewarding life's resources lately.  One of the resources is relationships.  And- wow!- our small group (we call them Life Groups)  that we are part of is just the kind of community that we desired to be part of.  I'm thankful for these real, honest people and the way that we are being knit together.  Saying "good stuff" doesn't touch it.

Then, there is our adoption.  I don't know anything new regarding our family's case- we probably still have months of wait ahead still.  BUT, I do know that I began to get discouraged the other week.  Impatient.  Even a tad jealous.  Lots of babies lately-  those of neighbors, and friends- and even the pregnant women at church started to make me a bit envious (even though I know that being pregnant three times was enough for me!).  I felt really bad about it because, through this whole long wait I have always rejoiced with those who had things to celebrate.  I've been happy for others and not jealous.  So, I prayed for forgiveness for my bad attitude and for a renewed outlook... for less pout ( "why not me?") and more joy.  The very next day, I got the awesome news in an e-mail that my waiting buddies Kevin and Sarah finally got their referral and were able to see a picture of Miss Hannah Claire.  And the joy flooded back!  I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!  Good news goes a long way.  Our day will come, and I'm willing to wait for it.  And, along the way, my heart is swelling over adoption and the nations... again, too much to really put into words right now... but bigger things are yet to come and it is good!  It is good!

Sprinkle in some summer activities like POOL TIME, and parks, and popsicles, and late dinners, and very dirty bath water, and painting and maybe... just maybe... that's why I haven't said much.  Slowly I will get my voice again... there is a lot to share... a lot "brewing" (I find myself using this word to describe things often right now).

But, to end on a light note... I'll distract, yet again, with a picture:

One Year on The List

One whole year ago today, our family officially joined others on a wait list to adopt from Taiwan.  We are expecting to wait another 2-6 months for a referral and can not wait to see our daughter's picture.  In honor of this day, I share with you an entry from my Daily Life journal a few weeks back.  I write in the journal most mornings, after reading my Bible and praying- it serves as a written history of my journey with God and a reminder of His faithfulness and provision.

March 27, 2008- "The Perfect Timing of a Full, Full, Blessing"

This past week we learned that our agency expects it to be another 3-6 months before we are referred a child- before we get the first picture of our future daughter.  Why is God making us wait so long?  We're growing impatient and so deeply desire to have her in our family.  But, knowing that the Lord set out this path for us, we want to trust Him and, deep down, past the emotion of it, we know that it will be far better on Jesus' plan and time than mine.  Reading in Luke, I am reminded that when God's perfect timing is involved, there is full, full blessing.

Luke 5:1-9 (New International Version)

 1One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret,^[a]with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, 2he saw at the water's edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. 3He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

 4When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water, and let down^[b] the nets for a catch."

 5Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."

 6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

 8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" 9For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken,

These fishermen had quit for the day and wewre washing their nets (v. 2).  Jesus comes along, and uses their boats as a platform to speak from- a pulpit.  And after Jesus teaches the multitude, he tells these fishermen- these future disciples- to sail further out and cast their nets.  Now, they've had no success all night, but at Jesus' request, they obey and catch such a great number of fish that they have to call in an extra boat and they still both started to sink, even after sharing the weight.  All who witnessed were astonished.

Points to consider:  

1. Regardless of what we've done on our own, God's perfect timing produces full, full blessing.

2. The full, full catch happened *after* the fishermen learned from Jesus' teaching.

3. The miraculous catch caused astonishment.  God's perfectly timed blessings are for the wonder and amazement of people- so they see Him through what has happened.

God,

Our adoption is in Your hands and we trust You with the timing of this miracle.  I pray that we are learning what we need to learn, growing where we need to grow, and using the extended wait to better prepare.  May all who hear of our adoption miracle know that each step was guided by You and was only possible because of Your touch. ~Amen.

Do I really sound like that?!

The Mamamade interview for Talk of the Town aired today.  If you missed it, encore airings will be on Channel 50 at noon and 4 p.m. the same day, and again at 9 a.m.on the 24th (Nashville channels, of course).  You can now view the segment online, too if you click this link and watch the video titled: Artistically Juggling the Demands of Motherhood and Jobs.  After the into commerical, our segment is roughly 4 minutes long and I'm at the end (Lael is at the beginning fighting over a hoola hoop, and Dean is seated in my lap- Grant was at school and, well, we all know where our other daughter is...)

I feel so blessed that things are going as well as they are- God has had His hand in so much of this and I couldn't be happier.

Not The Call.

We're not at the top of the list for girls with our agency.  I know this.  I know who is.  And yet, when I saw the listing for For Every Child come up on caller ID today, my heart started pounding and in the seconds it took me to answer the phone, I thought:

"maybe they have enough children this go 'round to match a bunch of families"

"maybe someone passed on a referral"

"maybe they're calling us with a referral"

This proves that Adoptive Parent Brain (aka Paper Pregnant Brain) is just as illogical and prone to emotional outbursts as normal baby-in-the-belly Pregnant Brain.  Because, HELLO!, we are No Where Near getting Our Referral.

Carrie, the Waiting Family Coordinator, was just calling to "touch base" and confirmed that we aren't anywhere near our referral.  She also let me know that when we come within 90 days of a referral (their best estimate, anyway) that we'll get a call to say as much.  This helps Eric and I a lot to know that we won't get an out-of-the-blue call shocking us with the news  and requesting the first installment of agency fees (we'll probably still be shocked!).

So, for now, we continue to wait.  We will be patient.

James 1:2-4

"2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

Romans 5:3-5

"we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

To our little daughter, yet to be known, 

We think about you, pray for you, and trust the Lord's perfect timing, resting assured that He is protecting you while he prepares us both for the day we welcome you into our family.

Move Details

*picture has nothing to do with the post- but aren't they cute?*

For those who have been fortunate enough to remain out of the loop regarding our move, you've missed a lot of drama, but also some amazing testaments to God's provision.

I do have packing to do, but I am going to carve out this moment to drink a warm cup of coffee and briefly re-hash the details of our move so far.

1. We had decided not to move after seriously considering it in Summer 2006.
2. Knowing full well that we had put moving on hold, Amy suggested we take a look at a house.
3. Casually mentioned house, turned into us viewing said house on Thanksgiving weekend with my Dad, Colin, and Tristen in tow.
4. Suggested house was "okay". More money for less square footage. Smaller yard (though fenced) Needs work to make it reflect our taste. *Sigh*, kinda felt like we'd be giving up a lot.
5. Searched a bit more in the same area and discovered that Amy's Suggested House was actually quite a gem in an expensive market: park directly adjacent to the subdivision, near shopping and church, charming historic district, certain-to-climb house values, highly praised public schools
6. Went back for a second showing, and decided to jump on it
7.While still a great value, the house was a tad overpriced considering the neighborhood's per squar foot average price. We figured if God's hand was in it, the seller would accept our lower offer. And would also accept our contingency.
8. She did.
9. We put our house on the market
10. LOTS of showings for a month, but no offers. We were very tired of keeping the house perfect and scurrying away almost every day to allow strangers through our home.
11. Came back from Christmas vacation resolved to buy the new house even if ours didn't sell since the seller would not extend our contract. We felt that God had dropped the house in our lap and that He would see to the details.
12. The day after deciding we would assume the risk of having two mortgages, an offer came our way- and they wanted to close quickly! Praise the Lord.
13. A misunderstanding with our contract, some finicky buyers (with a long list of To Do's worthy of its own post), and a very tight schedule make for an amazingly stressful and busy two weeks.

BUT

God is good. It will all work out and will be behind us VERY SOON. (And, I think Eric and I will walk out of this feeling strengthened, and ready for anything)

Monday, we close on our new house. Wednesday, we close on our current house. Friday, the movers come. So, in one week we will be on a new side of town!