iPods- direct link to God or mere technology?

Me: Go take care of the Legos on your bedroom floor.

[much delaying]

Me: Pick.  Up.  The.  Legos

[Dean pressing buttons on my iPod and listening through the buds to a song]

Me: Dean?  Did you hear me?  Leave that alone, and do what I've asked of you.

Dean: But that was a song about God!

Me: But, you've got a job to do.

Dean: Why are you making me log out of God?

[He knew what he said was ridiculous.  We both laugh.]

Reminder

For anyone who has intentions of helping Morning Light Home by participating in my bloggy drawing, I will be drawing names on Friday; get your donation in before then.  The goal is $200 and the prize is a leather bound journal/devotional written by Billy Graham's daughter, Annie.  Check the sidebar to see progress (currently 16%) and to participate using ChipIn.  Thanks!

Morning Light is currently placing children with adoptive families on a smaller scale until there is a facility.  This week, one of the families brought together through their ministry is able to celebrate the final ruling of their adoption.  Go congratulate Starr and her family on the adoption of Asia-Faith.  They live in Taiwan right now and this news has been a long time in coming!

Day 4

Saturday was Day four of watching my niece and nephew and I finally had my helpmate!  Eric worked one of the hardest weeks at work.  I tried my best to let him sleep in that day and take care of the kids quietly.  In the end, he got out of bed about 8:30am right when we were ready to have breakfast.  After our meal, we had the kids work on the upstairs rooms that got completely out of control while 5 kids were in my care.  Being honest, Lael's room- 4 days later- is still not back to it's proper condition.

We got ready for the day and went to the gym to exercise and to let the kids play.  Lael hurt her hand, so one of the nursery workers brought her in to me in the workout room.  It wasn't hat bad, but then she didn't want to leave my side.  In the end, I gave up trying to convince her that she'd have fun in the kid's room and simply allowed her to follow me to the remaining weight machines and into the locker room for my shower.  Since she was a bit grumpy from the owwie, she stayed perfectly still and quiet (wen does that *ever* happen?!).  Upon leaving, she proudly told the other kids that she was able to come to the showers with me!

The rest of the day passed rather quickly.  We went out to lunch and played at the house.  Eric later ran an errand with the boys and then we made dinner.  Before I knew it, Angie and Tim were showing up at the door to see their kids.  We all ate dinner together and heard a few bits and pieces of their trip to NYC.  I'm so glad they were able to do this, and that I was able to feed into their marriage like that- the same way they did for us when we travelled to Chicago last month.  It was certainly harder than having just my 3 children, but it was also pretty special to get to know my niece and nephew more than ever... kind of making up for lost time!

Day 3

Yesterday was the hardest day with the kids.  I didn't plan any activities, have any appointments, and we never ventured out into town.  But, I think that was a mistake.  Cramming a lot in the first two days was more work for me, but produced happier children.  With constant change of scenery, or things to play with, or things to do they never hit boredom.  Yesterday, I was feeling a bit worn down, so I decided not to go to the gym.  And it rained all the way until the early afternoon so we didn't go outside.  The result was more bickering, more whining, and lots of tattling.  Oh, and a tornado of mess to the kids' rooms and the playroom!  In the afternoon after school let out, Amy and her girls came over to visit.  Partly I was thinking of Chloe who we will be seeing less of now that her class is in session, and then the visit was partly for me who really appreciated the adult conversation with Amy.  Sadly, she witnessed all of the chaos and probably doesn't believe that the first two days were pretty good.  

Highlights:

• Mint tea with the girls in the early morning hours before anyone woke up while I read my Bible.  There's nothing quite like a 6:30am tea party!
  
• Breakfast: gf/cf cold cereal with Almond milk and banana
  
• Duke escapes (again) and is *thrilled* to be running at full speed.  I wonder if his tendency to escape has less to do with getting away and more to do with the ability to go full speed?
  
• Lunch: mish-mash! 1/4 gf/cf bagel, scrambled eggs, "sludge" drink (Bolthouse Green Goddess)(my kids love this stuff and think it's fun to call it sludge!), leftover roast potato, carrot sticks
  
• a bit of video game playing (caved again!)
  
• Dinner: split pea soup with ham and extra diced veggies, rice crackers with ghee
  
• movie night in the playroom with all the kids
  
• having Eric home on time and watching Project Runway with him when the kids were in bed (I am so happy that this completely creative show is back for another season!)
  

Today is the last day of my foray into being a mommy of 5.  Ethan and Olivia will be picked up by a very refreshed Mommy and Daddy before bed tonight.  (Whenever they'd get sad that their parents were gone, I would tell them that "Mommy and Daddy need alone time to celebrate their marriage and this makes them better mommies and daddies for you".  One of the times Olivia was on the phone with Angie, she said, "Are you a better mommy now?".  Too funny!)  

Day 2 and 15 months!!!

Yesterday was our second day with Ethan and Olivia.  We hit snags here and there when the children squabbled, or when someone didn't want to do things that I was instructing them to do (finish their meal, pick up, buckle seatbelts).  But, that stuff happens with my three kids (any kids, right?); having five children just means that the snags are louder and more emotionally driven.

Day 1 was a completely solo day- none of us saw Eric.  Thankfully, last night he joined us for dinner.  Poor guy is having a VERY busy work week.  I'm tired, too, but there is laughter and fun around here that is priceless.

Yesterday's run-down:

• Breakfast and Bible reading: gluten-free/casein-free french toast sticks, eggs, nectarines and apples eaten while listening to the story of Moses and Pharaoh and the plagues
  
• 6 month cleaning at the dentist for my children.  We bumped into friends we hadn't seen for months in the waiting room who will be homeschooling this year, too.  So good to see them and it will be nice to reconnect.  Everyone's teeth are healthy and everyone behaved.  I thought of rescheduling the appointment but there wasn't another one for MONTHS; I'm so glad I didn't remain fearful and Just Did It... it wasn't that bad!
  
• Went to the gym and worked out and showered.  This has been great because the kids have fun there, and I get a little break along with an uninterrupted shower.
  
• Lunch: leftover rice pasta with salmon, strawberries
  
• Rest time for everyone.  This day, I cuddled with Lael and dozed off for a bit.  Ethan and Grant continued with their reading of Calvin and Hobbes books while Olivia and Lael continued with their frequent questioning, "Is rest time over YE-ET?!"  Once again, Dean was the only one to fall asleep.
  
• Playing outside in the cul-de-sac with the neighborhood kids
  
• laundry (I feel like a super star for getting 4 loads washed, hung to dry, folded and mostly put away.  Yay me!)
  
• Dinner: cf/gf/nitrate-free chicken sausage, roast potatoes, steamed green beans
  
• getting ready for bed and one show in the playroom (see?  I knew I'd cave!... but it was good motivation/reward for quick teeth-brushing and pjs)
  

Changing subjects- TODAY IS 15 MONTHS for us on our agency's wait list for our daughter!  Fifteen months closer to her!

Day 1

Day one of the 4 day/4 night time with our niece and nephew (and their dog) while their parents celebrate their 15 year anniversary.  

I think it's going well, but I find myself raising my voice more than I'd like just to get above the hum and buzz of 5 children.  The kids are doing really well.  The challenges so far are Olivia's special needs diet (gluten-free, casein-free, soy-free and a few other things), the fact that Eric is hardly home this week due to a big project at work, and the tendency for the dog to attempt escape.  Duke is the sweetest, most lovely dog around apart from this frustrating habit.  Oh, and I'm on my period (too much information, I know, but it is a factor).  Thankfully, Eric should be here Saturday to help, and Angie was amazingly sweet and brought two HUGE sacks of most of the special needs diet stuff I'd need for Olivia so that I wouldn't have to worry about having particulars on hand.  It's not *that* hard to worry about, I just need a little re-training.  Now I kind of know how everyone worried about feeding me all those years I was vegetarian (19, for those who didn't know me then). 

Anyway, lest I forget where the day disappeared to, here is what we did:

• nurse a bloody lip (how did that happen before breakfast?!)
  
• breakfast and Bible reading: eggs, gluten-free porridge with blueberries and real maple syrup while listening about Noah and the Ark
  
• video chat on iChat with Grandma
• get 5 kids ready and out the door
  
• exercise and shower at the gym
  
• 5 kids on a quick-as-can-be trip through Costco (ended up taking an hour)
  
• make lunch: bacon, carrots, zucchini, rice cakes with peanut butter
  
• 1 hour rest time for all in separate areas of the house (30 minutes to get all settled!).  I snuggle with Dean and fall asleep for about 20 minutes myself.  I love snuggles with Dean!
  
• dog escapes, neighbor retrieves him and she and I visit for about 15 minutes
  
• 1 hour trip to local park
  
• playing and dinner prep: rice pasta with ghee and salmon, steamed broccoli, rice dream for dessert
  
• sharing our favorite parts of the day around the table as we eat our ice cream
• baths for all 5 kids and one very smelly dog (how is it that he still kinda smells?- you can tell we're not pet-trained!)
  
• clean up all toys and get ready for bed
• make up silly story about "Suzy" (with black, pink and purple hair), the girl with a beach house who gets stranded on an island and helps herself, Goldilocks-style, to the amenities found in tents owned by a family of deer
• kisses and prayers and tuck-ins and extra blankets

Reflections: "I can do this.  It just takes organization, and routine.  It's also really hard.  But, I think it is harder because all the kids aren't mine: they are laughing and being silly and, at times, crazy because they are enjoying their cousins!  The novelty of this arrangement makes them a bit harder to reign in.  I do honestly think, that if all 5 were under my care continually, that we'd have less chaos.  Hopefully that's true because we're adding our 4th sometime next year!  For those of you with more kids than me, if that's not true- just let me live in my own little reality bubble for now.  :-)  Mostly, I think this is awesome, that I'm finally involved regularly in the lives of my niece and nephew.  I'm so glad they moved here."

And a Human!

[Grant, looking over my shoulder as I read Sarah and Kevin's blog]

Grant (8 years old), looking at little Hannah Claire: She has a lot of hair.  Did I?

Me: Not much, kind of like the little tiny hairs on your arm.  Almost bald.

Grant: So you had hair in your belly!  [laughs at how silly that seems]...Ha!  And a human!  [extreme trailing giggles]

Ooooh! A new *FUN* experiment!

So today the kids and I made a simple syrup solution and are in the process of creating "rock candy".  We'll see what happens in the next few weeks.

But, that's not the experiment I'm talking about. 

And a few weeks ago when I decided not to use the microwave... that's not he experiment I'm talking about either!  (by the way, I *have* used it occasionally now, but not much- mostly coffee, and once or twice with leftovers)

Ohhhhh nooooo.  We're pulling out the big guns around here!  The NEW.  FUN. CRAZY.  experiment is that the kids are Unplugged.  (Mary, your idea for a sarcasm font would fit nicely right here).  I kind of, selfishly, don't want to do this experiment.  But, Eric and I see no other choice.

We are taking away video games, computer, and TV for two weeks, maybe more.  Our children are acting spoiled, a bit ungrateful, and are squabbling more than we'd like.  Most of the time, the entitled attitude, the bickering, and the less-than-respectful behavior rears its ugly head after being "plugged in".  Hopefully, by eliminating one, we'll reduce the other.

One of the advantages of homeschooling for us right now is character training.  Seeing the attributes in our children that we want them to have is the result of being fiercely focused parents that are feeding them God's wisdom and perspective and encouraging an "others-centered" view not a "me-centered" view.  Frankly, when the kids are "plugged in" they only care that *they* get the same time to play a video game as so-and-so.  And when they are watching a show, they want it to be a show *they* picked, not their sibling.

Whew.  This is not easy.

My kid's don't watch a lot of TV (especially with TiVo!), but they do do something electronic each day (probably and hour- although some days more... like when we have a house project that needs getting done).  I hardly know how to shower with a highly active three year old without putting Dora or Kai Lan on!

But, that's about me, isn't it?  And that's the point!  I need to lay down my self (be self-less) in order to create self-less kids.  Wow, what a concept! 

Harder still is that I am keeping my niece and nephew this week (4 days/4 nights) while Tim and Angie go on their anniversary trip.  Do I have the ability to stay on target with 5 kids, or do I cave?  I'll be honest, I might cave while they're here... but in extremely limited amounts. Stay tuned to find out how I cope.

Morning Light Ministries Bloggy Drawing

Our adoption journey has gone from being about one little orphan, and our family, to a desire to have a greater impact on orphans as a whole, and to impact the people of Taiwan.  My eyes have been opened to things and the only appropriate response is action.

This year, I became aware of Morninglight Ministries.  The Pan family started pastoring Taitung Baptist church in 2001 and now find themselves in a position where God is using them in amazing ways regarding unwed mothers and adoption- Morninglight Ministries.  The Asian culture in Taiwan is, by and large, very unforgiving to those who become pregnant outside of marriage.  Because of this, most of these children are aborted or given up for adoption.  From what I gather, the county that Morninglight is in has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy and very few (any?) group homes or foster care options.  The reality of the situation is that these women feel that there is no other choice but to seek out an abortion, or they risk being shunned by their family and having shame heaped upon them and their child.  The Pan family has begun reaching out to these women with the love of Christ and have helped to match adoptive families to these children when the birth family desires.  But, they lack the resources to meet the need.  Bit by bit, a way is being made for them to have a home for the unwed mothers and a nursery for the children awaiting placement for adoption.  

In the words of a Morninglight volunteer, Sarah:  "The Unwed mother's home will be used to not only give the women another choice (there are not enough homes in TAIWAN much rather their county), but they will also be given the opportunity to learn how to be a mom if they wish to continue forward and parent, they will be given the opportunity to support themself and their child by taking the classes offered for Bible, life resource, baby care.. etc and turn those hours into "chips" or vouchers to by their basic needs for them and baby and get proper medical care. With their being 400,000 abortions a year in Taiwan, due greatly to the astigmatism and lack of "placement help" in the way of orphanages and homes, they feel pressured to abort. Deana [Pan] is taking courses right now in "counseling", psych, and others in order to grow this dream into a reality."

Just this week, enough money was raised for them to purchase and install an air conditioning unit!  Praise God!  More essentials need to be purchased and more help is needed.

Soooo....

I now have a ChipIn button in my sidebar.  I'll take donations for Morninglight and draw a name from the contributors for a prize.  This raffle ends Aug. 1st and the winner will get a leather-bound copy of Anne Graham Lotz's "Daily Light Journal- Morning Readings".  I figured it was appropriate for *Morning* *Light*.  Get it?  :-)  The goal for this bloggy drawing is to raise enough money for one crib, roughly $200.  We can make a difference!

Blackberry Pickin'

Last week Angie (my sister-in-law who now lives in town!!!!), the kids, and I went to Boyd Mill Farm to pick blackberries.  Lovely, organically grown, ripe, amazing blackberries.  We should have been weighed as we were leaving because our buckets didn't really show all that we picked; I popped so many in my mouth!  The weather was perfect, the experience was lovely, and the kids had a blast.  $15/gallon- can't beat that.  I made a blackberry crumble that afternoon and it was gone by the end of the following day.  Angie made a cobbler and since her kids didn't care for it, we got to enjoy most of that, too.  I've been so spoiled this last week.  But all of our fresh ones are long gone, and I have about a half of a gallon frozen.  Here's a tip: any berries you want to freeze won't form clumps if you lay them on a cookie sheet first and then transfer to a bag or container after they are firmly frozen.  I had a standard half-sheet cookie sheet full.  They won't be as good as fresh, but they'll work fine in smoothies or oatmeal or baked treats.  Yum!

getting out of the car and realizing this is going to be better than we thought!

tasting

giving the farm dog a little loving

sweet Dean and a sweet berry

pickin'

I love this shot.  The rain was starting to come, but there was this patch of light right over the boys.  So cute with their shirts off, how could you not want to give them big sweaty hugs?!

Perfectly plump and sweet- I've never had blackberries so good and now I know why.  The really sweet ones fall apart in your hand almost.  For shipping purposes, the store-bought ones must be picked firmer and less ripe so they're less sweet and more tart.

me and Olivia

Angie soaking in the perfectness and declaring it to have that wonderful serene feeling

And, yes,  having family in town is just as wonderful as we'd hoped.  We've babysat for eachother.  We eat a lot of meals together.  The kids are spending the night together and having a BLAST.  Angie and I went clothes shopping together and it was FUN (everyone knows I'm not a shopper, right?  So if I had fun buying clothes it must have been truly *fun*).  And yesterday we met at the gym for workouts.  Love it!  Highly recommend it!  :-)

Treasury Appearance

Etsy has this neat feature where users can group items on Etsy by theme or color (kind of an inspiration board) called "Treasury".  My "Nest" painting made it on a treasury.  Thanks shavingkit!

Looking up

Thank you, everyone!  God has used so many people these past few days to turn around my attitude.  Praise the LORD!  His goodness is just so good!

What's incredibly amazing is that I got all these messages on the adoption forums, and here on the blog, and through e-mail- encouraging words, empathy, messages of hope- and I NEEDED THEM!  I needed them so much, and Jesus knew that, because I really didn't think my blog post sounded all that desperate or hopeless.  So, I had to wonder if I sounded all that depressed, or if everyone is just really great at reading between the lines!

Whatever the case (and I think it has more to do with God's knowledge of my heart), I'll be honest and say that Thursday and Friday I hurt a lot and found myself getting teary, discouraged and losing hope.  That's human.  That's my flesh.

As Christians, we talk a lot about how "the flesh" wants certain things that we shouldn't pursue.  It is oftentimes portrayed as this hindrance to godliness.  But God made me.  He made my flesh.  The more I worship Him and praise Him, the more my flesh will resemble the life that God wants.  That's the fruit of the spirit!  You can't just aim for having the fruit of the spirit, or to have hope- you keep your eyes on the Maker of Hope and the Giver of Peace and the rest is a result.

I was reading today and became so encouraged that my flesh can REST IN HOPE.  The same flesh that got impatient 3 days ago and lost hope, can REST IN HOPE.  How?  Psalm 16:8&9  says, "I have set the Lord before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.  Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will rest in hope."  If I set the Lord before me... my heart will be glad, and my flesh will rest in hope!  Again with the whole "keeping my eyes on the Maker of Hope" things.

I also began believing the lies that satan wants me to buy into.  That this would never happen- we'd never adopt... that time would just tick, and tick, and tick, and we'd forever feel the void of not having our little girl with us.  WELL, that's not what God called us to.  He didn't urge us to adopt, bring our hearts in unison, and show us this path only to smash our hopes against a rock!

So, against the lies, and against my flesh, I am keeping my eyes on God's loving plan for us to give a new life to an orphan, who will cease to be an orphan and will simply be our daughter.  Refocusing.

In church on Sunday, we sang this song and I loved the main part of the song (chorus?  I don't know- I'm not a music person):

I will worship you for who you are

I will worship you for who you are

I will worship you for who you are

Jesus

Not for what He does, what I get, or how fast I get it- just because of who He is.

Also helpful: Isaiah 55:8-9

And, another reason things are looking up is that Lucy is FINALLY entering the courts.  Please say a prayer for them, that this whole thing will go quickly from this point forward... her family is waiting for her (and has been waiting longer than any other Taiwan adoptive family I have heard of!)!  AND,  Kevin and Sarah , my waiting buddies, have approval for Hannah Claire so we all finally get to see pictures of the little beauty!  Congratulations to both families on the progress toward their daughters!

If when a door closes, a window opens....

what happens when a window closes?

We made it to the 14-17 month window where we might expect a referral.  But, as I suspected, changes are taking place and our "window" has changed.

I spoke with our agency today and they are now estimating our referral may come between September 2008 and January 2009.

The biggest reason seems to be that rules have unofficially changed with one of the orphanages our agency works with in placing children.  We were previously eligible for the program with St. Lucy Center, and the program with Chung Yi.  Now, we are only eligible for St. Lucy Center.  Additionally, there were very few referrals at the start of the year from either orphanage causing a backlog of sorts.

Because the changes are unofficial (and Chung Yi told our agency that they would not be issuing an official statement), I thought I might help you other adoptive parents and report what I've discovered:

-Chung Yi prefers both adoptive parents be over 30 (I am 29)

-Chung Yi prefers that the adoptive parents have 0-1 child at home (we have 3)

My guess is that with the growth in applicants to the Taiwan program, Chung Yi now has more families to choose from and are simply only selecting those that match the cultural preferences in Taiwan.  It tends to be a cultural preference in Asia to desire small families or only one child.  It can be said, similarly, that Americans culturally prefer 2 children- a boy and a girl.  This won't be the case for everyone in Taiwan, and it isn't the case for everyone in America- it just is a "cultural preference".

Where does that leave me?  Hurting and sad.  And thankful that my sweet husband brought home a lovely selection from Schakolad the other day.  There might not be any chocolate left by evening's end!

"My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever"

Pslam 73:26

Remember Alex Festival 2008

This weekend, there was a festival at our local skate park.  Skateboarding, music, food, FREE.  With two boys who had seen the banners for a solid month, there was no way we *weren't* going!  Even better that we could walk there.

We made plans to have Tim, Angie and their kids over for dinner, walk to the festival, and then come home for dessert.  Can I just say that I LOVE HAVING FAMILY IN TOWN!

The funny thing was that as we were approaching the park, and Angie says, "that sounds like Hannah Montana".  We bantered about how funny it was that they'd have a band paying her music or- maybe they weren't playing live music like I thought.  But once we could actually see the stage, we determined that "wow, that really looks like her, too".

Um, yeah, it was Miley Cyrus.  She lives in our town and I have absolutely not a clue what she's all about because my oldest kids are boys.  I mean, I know what she looks like and that she sings and has a TV show, but that's it.  It was still pretty cool that she dropped in for a few songs because I hear that she's the hottest ticket on the PLANET right now.  I don't idolize celebrities, but I just loved that our town is seemingly such a "sleeper" and the drop in, unannounced singer was Hannah Montana.  Hee.  It's just funny.

They didn't advertise it because- well, you can only imagine!  And she didn't play the whole event.  All the same, it was a slice of fun for our family to enjoy the great weather, the gorgeous clouded sky, free music, and the skate park.

When we returned home, I had an amazing raw food blueberry sorbet I'd made (Blueberries, banana, avocado) and lime sponge pie for the more indulgent of us.  I had both!  :)

It's always in there, that thumb!

Such a ham!  Gorgeous sky, gorgeous girl!

My big boys.  This pic was taken right after Grant was sulking- I'm glad he bounced back quickly.

The pool, and someone who knows how to skate it (not us).

Angela and Olivia