Tennessee Adoption Day

Appearing in our local court in May to adopt Dorothy was a huge hurdle. Finalizing the adoption this way made every part of her placement in our family complete. Indian courts named us as her guardians, but not her parents, so this step- unlike some international adoption cases- was vital and not a mere formality. In our *hearts* it felt like a formality, but I guess I could say that every step of the process *to our hearts* has been a formality. The second we mailed our dossier to India in pursuit of her, she was our daughter!

That being understood, adopting her in the United States court system means that she is officially ours in the eyes of the law and can gain any privilege that the law allows "natural born" children. She, additionally, gains US citizenship (being fully adopted by two US citizens) and the rights of any American, and can not be deported. We're happy about that! And in amongst the adoption, we could opt to officially change her name to Dorothy.

Adoption Day was also a hurdle and celebration because we represented ourselves, and did it successfully! With all of the other adoption costs we've had, we wanted to keep her US adoption as inexpensive as possible. I'd been told that we had the right to represent ourselves, and that it can be a rather straightforward process for those who've completed much of the process internationally. Being a decently smart, if not determined, person, I was all about figuring out how to do this thing.

First, I called a few lawyers and paralegals to see if anyone would be willing to provide the proper templates or forms for a small fee (so I could do the work myself). Not much luck there. But, one kind lawyer tossed me a bone and said I could try using a legal text by Coppock. Hmmm... "thank you. I'll look that up."

Then, I made an appointment and met with the Clerk and Master of our local court. When I outlined the type of adoption case we were ("India grants guardianship like Korea, and does not finalize the adoption. This is not a re-adoption like China.") she blew me off and said that I should hire a lawyer. Having the right to represent oneself does not mean you'll have the support of the court, I found. I pressed a bit more and mentioned that I'd found a legal text that came recommended by a lawyer. "Coppock, huh?", she said. Probably to get me out of her office, she offered to loan me her copy and even put a few sticky notes in it for me. I borrowed it over the week to make sure it wasn't over my head entirely.

A quick read confirmed that it would be a bit of work, but that I could do it. The court needed their copy back, so I did have to shell out $170 to obtain my own copy. Well worth it. (returning the Clerk and Master's copy with chocolate and a handwritten thank you note was likely a wise move, also)

I submitted our Petition to Adopt with all the supporting documents. The result? A court date and a compliment; the Clerk and Master said that my papers were put together better than some lawyers. YEAH!

A few more documents, along with some triple-checking, and we appeared for court at the appointed time. Everyone looked fantastic. Being homeschoolers who attend a casual church, we had to actually go out and purchase slacks and button-ups for the boys for this day! They had no "fancy" clothes.

I also hadn't realized that our court time was the equivalent of a huge casting call. Hundreds of people given the exact same time to show up, and then the judge worked his way through the docket. I think we sat for about 2 hours before we were called. All of the other cases were divorces. The sad thing was that they had to air everything in public like that and then WE- the happy case!- were pulled privately into the chambers to take our vows and sign the papers. Seems a shame. Our children behaved so well, even though Eric and I were tense about the extended wait with four children in a hushed room on hard wooden benches. (well, hushed apart from the apparently angry woman in the courtroom beside us who could be clearly heard cussing/ screaming through the walls... *that* was fun! It didn't last long. I'm certain the bailiff had something to do with that.)

Finally, we were called back to the judge's chambers. Turns out he is a neighbor we knew already. That's Nashville for you. He outlined how seriously they take adoption cases (citing the recent Russian case that was a tragedy), and had us swear that we would care for her and provide for her and that we knew this was a permanent placement etc. It was very sweetly done and at the end, we took the picture with the judge. Sadly, the person who shot the pic did not crop it well, but I know how beautiful everyone looked that day. We were also happy to finally, officially have Dorothy be OURS.

Leaving the courthouse, we had a celebratory lunch at J. Alexander's and did not leave until we'd had their warm carrot cake!

Then, an afternoon at the Science Center seemed like fun. There was absolutely no line, so the boys did the space jumpy thingy at least twice.

And Dorothy absolutely loved the glow room. The walls are lined with glow-in-the-dark wallpaper. You pose, and then hit a button which turns on BRIGHT lights for about 30 seconds before the room is dark again. Only, once the lights turn off, you can see your "artwork"- black body shapes surrounded by the neon glowing background. Very fun. Even more so if you're two and like pressing buttons!

Fantastic, fantastic day all around!