image by Jessie of speckledbirdart on our trip to India.
This blog was started as a fun way of keeping out-of-state friends and relatives up to date on our life here in Nashville. My dear friend Erika wrote in one, and I loved keeping in touch with her that way... so I followed suit. Over the years, it has been a place to write about our travels, my art and craft pursuits, funny incidents with the kids, and our mundane daily life. "Lifetrain", right?
Most recently, it has chronicled our adoption process- it's ups and downs and twists and turns. That is now over, and our sweet daughter is home and IN OUR ARMS. So far, a day hasn't passed by that I am not still amazed by the miracle of it!
Here in our home, is a little girl who was once an ORPHAN, but is now a DAUGHTER! I will not leave you as orphans (John 14:18) God has taken loss, sadness, pain, and grief and is daily replacing them with gladness, security, health, and love. She once lived 8,000+ miles away and is now right here! While I don't believe that the Lord ever intended her to live apart from her birth family, He has taken something very broken and is mending it. Beauty for ashes.
She will never be the same. And neither will we.
And that is my point- we are transformed. It began happening while we were waiting for Dorothy to join us. But then, we traveled and saw with our own eyes, and felt with our own heart. Orphans. The poor. The Uneducated. The needy.
How do you go on writing about the latest sewing project? A really great beauty product? The TV show you laughed at last night? Most of it just feels so trivial. I don't know how to reconcile that.
And I don't know as I'm supposed to. I do believe that God intends for us to be affected... to FEEL. Proverbs 24:11-12 (New Living Translation) says,
"11 Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die;
save them as they stagger to their death.
12 Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.”
For God understands all hearts, and he sees you.
He who guards your soul knows you knew.
He will repay all people as their actions deserve."
save them as they stagger to their death.
12 Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.”
For God understands all hearts, and he sees you.
He who guards your soul knows you knew.
He will repay all people as their actions deserve."
I have seen. I am now responsible.
What this looks like, I don't know. Honestly, I have a lot of questions. I won't even go so far as to say that I won't talk about something trivial on this blog- it's all part of life. Yes, we still watch TV (though we did get rid of cable). Yes, I still homeschool. Yes, we've got house projects. And trips. And purchases. I just don't feel motivated to write much about them right now.
I guess I'm trying to find my bloggy voice again.
5 comments:
Tisra,
It is so interesting to me you would post this. Bobby and I have been talking so muc lately about how adoption and our trip to Taiwan and the orpanage and the jounrey to NOah and so far to Jeremiah as changed us! We will never be the same! Orphan ministry is now a part of us in every way shape and form. Even after all our children are home and God says stop adopting and all we will still be involved in adoption and orphan care. It is amazing to me that like you said once you have seen you are responsible and you just can't not be!
There's so much to think about in all this. God has changed your heart in so many ways. It's understandable to wonder "what now"? I totally get the laryngitis thing. I think that if you follow your heart, you'll find words. And an audience that understands or wants to understand.
Now I'm thinking back through my latest posts to see how shallow I've been. :)
I know that what you are saying is personal and I won't try to defend any of my own words or solve any of your questions with my own thoughts. I will say that I appreciate you saying it, making us question and think with you and for being honest about your heart. God is making you more like Him in this and I am encouraged and motivated (to the degree that I can be in my own calling) as I watch you go into all the world in your way, in your time and with His leading. God bless you Tisra...you are a beautiful instrument...He has put a new song in your mouth, many will see and fear and trust in the name of the Lord our God because of you! (that's Psalm 40:3...Mary's translation, because she's too lazy to look it up.)
Amen sister. I feel that. I'm so ready to get moving on this next adoption, I forgot how slow the process is... On top of that my heart has been broken for the HIV+ kids and being in the middle of a new adoption makes me think it is a bad time to be thinking of adopting again already =)!
I felt exactly the same way when we got home from India.
Sadly I still do but sometimes to talk about it only overwhelms me with sorrow, with feeling like I will never be able to do enough. NEVER. Then I will sit and wonder what can I do. What should we do.
One day at a time. Follow the Lords leading with other adoptions. Pray. Pray. Pray. give to others adoptions. And pray some more that more Christians would step up and do something!
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